Bankrupt Relationships

As the economy takes a bite out of our wallets and we get more real about our finances, many are also getting real about even deeper, foundational areas of their lives. The result, if not addressed in a timely matter, could impact generations to come.

In the end, I believe that the legacy from this long-drawn-out recession will not be the crushing blow dealt to the real estate industry, the instability of the stock market, or the inability of a person to retire as planned, when planned, it will be the bankruptcy of far too many relationships.

One of the greatest sources of joy in tangible reality comes from being in a committed, loving, trusting, intimate relationship. This is especially true when the relationship matures into a healthy partnership. Whether we are in a committed relationship, engaged in a budding romance, or still searching for our true love, we will want to know how to deepen a relationship and intentionally create a partnership—one that can thrive in any firestorm.

This blog post is an invitation for all of us to step back and take a long hard look at how we are showing up in our relationship, and if needed, make necessary changes. It takes two people to create a partnership. It usually takes two people to destroy a relationship. However, one person can wield tremendous influence for good or for ill. Either option is infectious.

As my good friend Dan McCormick often says, “If we want our life to change, we must change. If we want our life to improve, we must improve.”

As a partner in a healthy relationship, our primary mission is to lift and build and validate our partner. Every word, every deed, every action is designed to inspire—breathe life into our partner, and to encourage our partner—add to their heart. Every thought will be about finding ways to bring out the very best. When children are involved, they become the beneficiaries of this singular focus. One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is to love one another.

Gut Check

If we are currently in a relationship, what is it like to live life next to us? Have our thoughts been more focused on our needs or fears, or have they been focused on the needs of our partner? In our relationship, have we been a giver or a taker, a peacekeeper or scorekeeper, a builder or a fixer? Do we dig for reasons to compliment, or do we give unwanted digs? Do we encourage our partner to have a voice, or do we insist on being right? Do we encourage bilateral decisions, or do we need to be in control? Do we focus on resolving differences, or on stubbornly clinging to our opinions? Do we let go of offenses or harbor hurts? Are we grateful or resentful?

With the pressures of the current economic climate weighing on relationships, far too many are plagued with hurtful and often harmful innuendo, sarcasm, the need to be right, unnecessary competition, and idle gossip. Do we believe that criticism improves performance? Do we value all contributions to the partnership, whether performed in a place of business, or in the home, or does our mate feel more like an employee, laborer, housekeeper, nanny, or roommate? Do we ever share intimate and private details about our companion when in conversations with close friends?

It is so easy to become complacent, comfortable, controlling, fearful, pre-occupied and even critical. These wedges can pry apart good relationships in the best of times. Exacerbated by current financials pressures, these wedges prevent the possibility of a bonded partnership. If we have allowed any of these sharp and cutting devices to creep into our relationship, it is time for a new direction—time to begin a new life.

What might be different if we re-engage? What might be different if we were constantly looking for the good and verbalizing it? What might be different if we invested more time listening to understand? What might be different if we willingly contributed? Can we surrender the hurt from past offenses and again find love? If not here, where? If not now, when? Is it time for a new plan. Is it time to make a 100% commitment that will build the trust, trust that will promote and support true intimacy—intimacy that can bond two people together providing a strong shelter from any storm?

Want a good place to start? Just received this today:

Dave,

I wanted to give you the update on our reading of your book, and our living of your program!

Upon bringing home your book from the Emergency Preparedness show, my wife was a little skeptical but those first few days we read the first 40 pages or so together. I put the book down for a couple of days, and she picked it up! 

Lori can read a novel in 3 hours if she wants to, but this book is different! She has dissected it a few pages at a time, and she loves it.  Now several weeks later she has just completed it.

Ever since we have been married, I have talked to her about how principles are so important and techniques are not so much. She has loved how your book is principle based and always mentions how it is a perfect fit for me because of that.  We talk at night about the principles that she has discovered in your book.

I am so excited about that! Lori has never picked up a sales training book that I read before, but this one is so different.  She is waiting for me to finish the book so that we can apply the principles together!

I have continued listening to the scrolls morning, night and evening and I strive to make those principles come alive.

Now that my wife has completed your book, I am committed to finishing it myself.  I believe your book will be a family favorite, and a great fit for us.

Thank-you for all the time that you have put into this work of love.

Seth

Click here to download FREE chapters, buy the book, and discover how you can get FREE coaching for you and a committed companion:  www.ogmandino.com/begin

E-book for Kindle and Nook also available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Visit the official Og Mandino Channel on YouTube to view speeches given by Og and Dave.

*Dave Blanchard is the CEO of The Og Mandino Group and author of Today I Begin a New Life. He has been married to Ramona for over 37 years. They have seven married children and 23 grandchildren.

The Hardest Decision We’ll Ever Make

Had another amazing conversation yesterday with a new friend and kindred soul, Dr. Jeff Spencer. He was the doctor and coach for the U.S. team that won the Tour de France eight times—the most successful sports franchise in history. He refers to the Tour, a 24-day, 2,300-mile event, as the “Death March.” 

Dr. Spencer has spent his life down in the trenches coaching people who are covered in mud, bruised and bleeding, who are digging down deep to access one more ounce of strength—a champion inspiring champions. Lance Armstrong writes, “Jeff is part doctor, part medicine man…we couldn’t have gotten to Paris without him.” 

 A few weeks ago a mutual friend, Jeff Zisselman, sent Dr. Spencer a copy of my new book, Today I Begin a New Life. He read it, got it, and called. Our conversations are quickly becoming regularly scheduled “feasts for the mind.” 

Today our conversation turned to what it really takes to overcome unhealthy habits of thinking—our human blue print, as Dr. Spencer calls it—and rise triumphant regardless of the challenge. It was inspiring. 

Deep into the conversation, we expressed deep concern for a pandemic illness that has cast a dark shadow over much of the self-improvement world, swallowing the hopes and dreams of millions of unsuspecting victims. This deadly illness is called the ease-disease. 

Infected, a person can spend inordinate amounts of time and money engaging in self-improvement programs hoping to discover the secret for magically manifesting a life of comfort and ease—no more stress, pain or frustration. Sadly, far too many succumb to both the disease and the endless search for the magic potion. 

We both agreed—the hardest decision a person may ever make is to give up this deadly pursuit and seek instead the real cure—a conscious choice to engage in life. Champions embraces principles, connect and serve others, intentionally create value everywhere they go and with everyone they meet. They focus on contributing to world not receiving their piece of the pie. They want to stretch and grow and become all that they were meant to be. Dr. Spencer calls this the Champions Blueprint. 

We both concluded that based on the circumstances faced by many, this decision may be scary, even terrifying, and the work required, overwhelming and even seemingly impossible. Some may even want to believe that it’s too late. 

 Dr. Spencer added, “Ease is easy to sell—it’s enticing—but it NEVER delivers on the promise no matter how much time we spend or money we invest.” I added, “Yes, and in the end, the pursuit leaves us depleted and empty—broke, broken, and angry—living in a life filled with failure, misery, and sleepless nights.” We both agreed that these consequences are unavoidable. 

By the end of our conversation, it was more clear than every before. The hardest decision a person will ever make is a hard option to sell—it requires change—real and lasting change—but with it comes a promise of success, happiness and peace of mind. These promises await all who choose this journey. 

The choice is ours to make—pursue ease or choose to be a champion, willing to pay the price for a champion’s heart. No one can make this decision for us. It is deeply personal. Success or failure hangs in the balance. May we choose wisely. 

Dave Blanchard 

Click here to download FREE chapters or buy Dave’s new book, Today I Begin a New Life. Discover how you can get FREE coaching: www.ogmandino.com/begin 

E-book for Kindle and Nook also available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. 

Visit the official Og Mandino Channel on YouTube to view speeches given by Og and Dave. 

Visit www.jeffspencer.com for more information about the Champion’s Blueprint.

Og Mandino YouTube Channel Introduction

		In January of 2000, the rights to The Greatest Salesman in the World became available, so I called Dave. As a result of that conversation, the Og Mandino Group was founded. Eleven years of intense labor and amazing creativity have gone into creating one of the best personal coaching programs in the world. These coaching principles are timeless and healing. Dave has truly brought Og's work into the 21st Century! In his new book Today I Begin a New Life, Dave has taken Og's words, woven in his unique life experiences-good and sorrowful-and used his extensive experience as a personal and business coach to create a timely message we all need during this period of crisis in our lives. Og created the life of his dreams through his writing and speaking, and now it's your turn to intentionally create the life of your dreams. Use Dave's experiences and Og's words to make your life the very best that it can be. Read and grow! PS: Thank you, Dave, for your assistance and faith in keeping Og's work alive and moving forward into this century. You are so appreciated!
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