As
the economy takes a bite out of our wallets and we get more real about our
finances, many are also getting real about even deeper, foundational areas of
their lives. The result, if not addressed in a timely matter, could impact
generations to come.
In
the end, I believe that the legacy from this long-drawn-out recession will not
be the crushing blow dealt to the real estate industry, the instability of the
stock market, or the inability of a person to retire as planned, when planned,
it will be the bankruptcy of far too many relationships.
One of the greatest sources of joy in
tangible reality comes from being in a committed, loving, trusting, intimate
relationship. This is especially true when the relationship matures into a
healthy partnership. Whether we are in a committed relationship, engaged in a
budding romance, or still searching for our true love, we will want to know how
to deepen a relationship and intentionally create a partnership—one that can
thrive in any firestorm.
This blog post is an invitation for all of
us to step back and take a long hard look at how we are showing up in our relationship, and if needed, make
necessary changes. It takes two people to create a partnership. It usually
takes two people to destroy a relationship. However, one person can wield
tremendous influence for good or for ill. Either option is infectious.
As my good friend Dan McCormick often says,
“If we want our life to change, we must change. If we want our life to improve,
we must improve.”
As a partner in a healthy relationship, our
primary mission is to lift and build and validate our partner. Every word,
every deed, every action is designed to inspire—breathe life into our partner, and
to encourage our partner—add to their heart. Every thought will be about
finding ways to bring out the very best. When children are involved, they
become the beneficiaries of this singular focus. One of the greatest gifts
parents can give their children is to love one another.
Gut
Check
If we are currently in a relationship, what
is it like to live life next to us? Have our thoughts been more focused on our needs or fears, or have they been
focused on the needs of our partner? In our relationship, have we been a giver
or a taker, a peacekeeper or scorekeeper, a builder or a fixer? Do we dig for
reasons to compliment, or do we give unwanted digs? Do we encourage our partner
to have a voice, or do we insist on being right? Do we encourage bilateral decisions,
or do we need to be in control? Do we focus on resolving differences, or on
stubbornly clinging to our opinions? Do we let go of offenses or harbor hurts?
Are we grateful or resentful?
With
the pressures of the current economic climate weighing on relationships, far
too many are plagued with hurtful and often harmful innuendo, sarcasm, the need
to be right, unnecessary competition, and idle gossip. Do we believe that
criticism improves performance? Do we value all contributions to the
partnership, whether performed in a place of business, or in the home, or does
our mate feel more like an employee, laborer, housekeeper, nanny, or roommate?
Do we ever share intimate and private details about our companion when in
conversations with close friends?
It is so easy to become complacent, comfortable, controlling, fearful,
pre-occupied and even critical. These wedges can pry apart good relationships
in the best of times. Exacerbated by current financials pressures, these wedges
prevent the possibility of a bonded partnership. If we have allowed any of
these sharp and cutting devices to creep into our relationship, it is time for
a new direction—time to begin a new life.
What might be different if we re-engage?
What might be different if we were constantly looking for the good and
verbalizing it? What might be different if we invested more time listening to
understand? What might be different if we willingly contributed? Can we
surrender the hurt from past offenses and again find love? If not here, where? If
not now, when? Is it time for a new plan. Is it time to make a 100% commitment
that will build the trust, trust that will promote and support true intimacy—intimacy
that can bond two people together providing a strong shelter from any storm?
Want a good place to start? Just received
this today:
Dave,
I wanted to give you the update on our reading of your book, and our living of your program!
Upon bringing home your book from the Emergency Preparedness show, my wife was a little skeptical but those first few days we read the first 40 pages or so together. I put the book down for a couple of days, and she picked it up!
Lori can read a novel in 3 hours if she wants to, but this book is different! She has dissected it a few pages at a time, and she loves it. Now several weeks later she has just completed it.
Ever since we have been married, I have talked to her about how principles are so important and techniques are not so much. She has loved how your book is principle based and always mentions how it is a perfect fit for me because of that. We talk at night about the principles that she has discovered in your book.
I am so excited about that! Lori has never picked up a sales training book that I read before, but this one is so different. She is waiting for me to finish the book so that we can apply the principles together!
I have continued listening to the scrolls morning, night and evening and I strive to make those principles come alive.
Now that my wife has completed your book, I am committed to finishing it myself. I believe your book will be a family favorite, and a great fit for us.
Thank-you for all the time that you have put into this work of love.
Seth
I wanted to give you the update on our reading of your book, and our living of your program!
Upon bringing home your book from the Emergency Preparedness show, my wife was a little skeptical but those first few days we read the first 40 pages or so together. I put the book down for a couple of days, and she picked it up!
Lori can read a novel in 3 hours if she wants to, but this book is different! She has dissected it a few pages at a time, and she loves it. Now several weeks later she has just completed it.
Ever since we have been married, I have talked to her about how principles are so important and techniques are not so much. She has loved how your book is principle based and always mentions how it is a perfect fit for me because of that. We talk at night about the principles that she has discovered in your book.
I am so excited about that! Lori has never picked up a sales training book that I read before, but this one is so different. She is waiting for me to finish the book so that we can apply the principles together!
I have continued listening to the scrolls morning, night and evening and I strive to make those principles come alive.
Now that my wife has completed your book, I am committed to finishing it myself. I believe your book will be a family favorite, and a great fit for us.
Thank-you for all the time that you have put into this work of love.
Seth
Click here to download FREE chapters, buy the book, and discover how
you can get FREE coaching for you and a committed companion: www.ogmandino.com/begin
E-book for Kindle and Nook also available on Amazon and Barnes and
Noble.
Visit the official Og
Mandino Channel on YouTube to view speeches given by Og and Dave.
*Dave Blanchard
is the CEO of The Og Mandino Group and author of Today I Begin a New Life. He has been married to Ramona for over 37 years. They have seven
married children and 23 grandchildren.
